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Date: 13.12.2016

Place: Academie Minerva

Performance V

Credits: Sander Roux and Milan Schudel.

Visitor's description

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We stand in line, I’m the 4th person. First, I wait to get called in to the first room, next to the place where all this will be.

 

I chat with the guy in the white

blouse, alone on a chair.

Empty chair next to me. He asks what I’m doing in life and I tell him something about school and photographs. I ask him about his life and he tells me something about theater, what I remember. Someone knocks on the door, and I feel like getting up; so I do.

 

After opening the door; two guys greet me, staring, slightly smile and the bold guy asks me how I’m doing. Standing on a cross, made out of tape, which is pointed to me through a line of black tape as well.

 

Behind me, a table with white plates; one with a strawberry; one with a banana, next to this a bandage roll. 

 

 

‘Can you hand me the strawberry?’ so I give, ‘do you like strawberry’s?’ I nod. He asks me if I want to take out the green part of the strawberry, so I do. And give the strawberry for the second time to the guy.

He (the bold guy) pulls the strawberry in to the other guys mouth, and both stare back at me.

‘ Are you nervous?’ ‘no’ ‘ Because you don’t have to’

‘Can you give me the banana?’ so I give, ‘I don’t mean it wrong, but do you like banana’s?’ I nod.

He peels the banana and shoves it in the mouth, almost throat of the other guys; which has been fed with a strawberry before.

Both stare back at me.

 

Bold guy walks back to his steady spot, and asks me if I can give him the bandage, the last in line at the table. So I give.

 

Don’t forget that the half of the banana, is still in the mouth of the guys which is fed

The other half, including the skin is on the ground, next to some other half bananas.

 

I feel a bit nervous; since bananas and bandage don’t really seem to fit together

 

The bandage is taped around the head of the banana-eating guy, while they both, again stare at me. We don’t speak.

 

Bold guy returns and asks me if I can hand him the last item, which should lay underneath the table. Boxing glove. (slightly next to the table, but I gave it.) Choices here

 

Bold guy puts on the glove slowly, makes this warming up thing which boxers always do somehow, and stares at me in the eyes, grins a bit.

The other, still with a half banana and bandage, stares as well

 

Bold guy hits the other in his stomach, not so hard

Stares back at me, with a look of question in his eyes; to punch or not

I stare back at him

He punches again, the other one makes a sound

He stares, the both do, and I stare back.

Punches again.so, third time.

Stares, both, I.

Punches again, 4th.

The punched guy sticks up one finger.

And the bold guy looks at me

And I don’t really know why I didn’t say anything

He punches again 5th

 

Last punch, 5th 

They stare at me, I stare back. Tried to make myself a bit more comfortable by placing one hand in front of my mouth; as I’m always doing while doubting or being not secure about things.

I remember being glad wearing a big jumper and pants, for hiding myself with

 

The lights slowly turn off, and I stay there in dark, and the performers in dark as well. Slight some light coming from the back of the room, under the door. I’m still searching for them with my eyes somehow, in dark and sense that they have been in the same position for a while; probably staring at me or in the dark.

 

I walked out of the room after standing there in the dark for half a minute, walked the line back, thanked the guy in white and left.

 

Someone is doing things with the light, and I realized there was a spot of light on me all the time as well.

 

Strange thing is that I don’t know how long I’ve been in there, between 2 and 5 minutes,

Strange thing is that I pissed myself off a bit by not stopping the guy who punched the other

In sake of art

Strange thing is that I was waiting this to be over, for the last punch or an end

 

Free choice for going in there, no free choice by handing the strawberry, banana, bandage. (since politely asked) ( and since I want to see what can happen there) (for the sake of art)

 

Strange thing is that I noticed who fast I’d grab the things which are asked for, and give them and watch. Bold performer has a friendly, pushing way of asking.

 

I didn’t feel intimidated, just strange, insecure about this all, maybe because I didn’t had any expectations maybe because I don’t feel the urge to say or decide anything for somebody else.

This performance left me in a strange mood for a couple of days. I didn't expect anything before coming, the description was really plain. We came there earlier, because we didn't know if there will be places. Only at 18:30 we were informed about going in one by one and waiting in line. The waiting at first was nice and easy, but later on it became harder and harder to sit in one place, I felt really curious and excited about what is going to happen. I also felt insecure, because I didn't want to be in a performance that is one on one and believed it could be really awkward. After really thrilling 45 minutes I got in. I felt relieved that there were two guys instead of one and at the beginning of the performance I thought that it is going to be something about gays. My expectations didn't meet the reality when the bondage was put on the boy's head. The hidden boxing glove was a signal that something is not right, but I didn't believe it when a guy said that he is going to punch another guy. But when he actually did, I was shocked, I couldn't believe what just happened. I was asked to leave and the lights were going down. After leaving I saw all the excited faces of the people still in line, but I felt terrible. I felt guilt and lack of power in myself. I was sad and shocked that I didn't do anything to stop the guy and followed everything he said, even though it hurt another person. I even thought that this actually happens on a really wide perspective everyday by the governments who tell people what to do and they do it, for no real reason. I felt really really bad about myself and this feeling stayed with me for two days. That is why I think that was a really powerful experience and I was happy to participate, because if a performance can make you feel something this strong - it is a good one. 

-I do not want to go further in describing what happened next. It all felt to very cheap and easy to me. I was aware that I was being manipulated in a very rigid way. I did not want to be part of it in any way. So I went out of the room. <...>

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<...>I was not inspired by the work in any way.

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<...> I heard about the performance by a friend of mine, she took me to Minerva and I had no idea about what to expect. We arrived at Minerva and looked for the room, we found some people already outside and we started waiting. I remember that one of my main thoughts during the waiting was “what should I cook for dinner?” ( I am Italian so my dinner starts at 20:00) because I wanted to go home afterwards and cook something nice. The people around me were talking about what to expect and I could clearly see that some of them were nervous. I don’t know why but I didn’t really ask myself “what this is all about” until it was my turn to get in. me and two friends decided who was next among us, and there, only there, after 40 mins of waiting I started to think “hey, what the hell is going on?” and then a guy opened the door of room and he said “who’s next?”. OK. That made me quite nervous, because usually, when you’re waiting somewhere and somebody else open the door and says “who’s next?” … well, something not really nice occurs, when you’re waiting for the dentist or a doctor for example. I don’t know if it’s the same for everybody, maybe you guys are studying psychology and you understand better than me what i am saying.

Anyway, I went in the room where the guy was and he asked me to write my e-mail down. While I was thinking what to expect, I remembered that some guys that were outside with me, they talked about a an experience that they did at the Murmur event, They did this kind of psychological test in a dark room one by one. A voice suggested them what to do, and the aim of the experiment was to see to what extent they followed the voice. So, aware of this, I asked to guy “So… we are going inside one by one..right?” …“yes” he said. Mmmmmmmmhh… this sounds like a test, I thought. So I asked him “So…is it a kind of psychological test?” and he said “I don’t know, I haven’t seen the performance yet..” and I knew he was lying.

So, I entered the room and I felt quite awkward in the beginning, one of the guys asked me to stand on the cross on the floor and I did it. So he started to ask me to do different things and I followed him until I saw him putting the bandage around the head of that poor fellow who endured all those crazy stuff.

I that moment I realized.. they don’t want me to see what they’re doing.. they want to see MY reactions, they expect me to do something. So I just walked towards the guys and I took the bandage out of the head of the guy, and also the banana, and when the other guy told me to give him the banana again I left it fall on the floor and I smashed it with my boot. It was funny I have to admit it. I usually don’t like this kind of things, I have a rejection for the people that try to do this psychological tricks to me, and so it was quite amusing not to do what I was supposed to, which is the soundtrack of my life basically.

However, when one of the guys asked me to give him the last object, I took this black thing under the table, I looked at it and I saw it was a boxer glove. “Man…no way” I said. But I don’t know why, I swear I have no idea of why I opened it and I gave him to the guy. I knew he was going to punch him in the moment I saw the glove, and even if this was not enough, the guy told me “I am going to punch him” while I was staring at him looking completely dumb. I guess I was curious to see if he would have really done it, or maybe I am just another sheep in the herd.

When the guy with the annoying kind tone of voice was about to punch the other one, I stepped towards them, but it was to late. He punched him and asked me to leave, and he continued to punch him. I opened the door and looked again at them, “I am sorry man” I said, or maybe I just thought it, I don’t remember.

I walked out and closed the door. I felt weird, but amused too. Talking with my friends I realized I was the only one among them who reacted. I hate this kind of things. They felt shitty because the test “proved that they are bad people” that didn’t help the guy, and I felt shitty cause the test “proved that I was better than them”. I couldn’t shake that feeling of guilt away for giving the glove to him, but at the same time I was proud of myself cause I did something and I kinda enjoyed it. It took me a while to make that bad feeling go away.

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